You will be proud to hear that your team has set a world record that may someday be equalled but will never be broken.
True to form, the herd of cats known as the Manhattan Magnum Masters manged to get disqualified in all four of its relays Tuesday, April 22nd, at the Challenge Swim Stadium. Not only was its A team disqualified (twice), the B medley team was also disqualified twice and on the second occasion uncerimoniously escorted out of the indoor swimming stadium pool by FINA security in front of 1,000 spectators and not allowed to swim the race because of the illegal substitution of Richard (last name withheld to protect the innocent) of the Tri Valley hybrid water polo team (Bruce's team).
As a result, FINA is lauching an investigation of Jim Hallett and will most likely bar Jim from further FINA competition on a lifetime basis. Jim may face tougher sanctions (say four to five lifetime bars) since it is rumored that the other members of the disqualified B relays are singing like canaries in order to achieve leniency. But it should be noted the surviving MMM team members are looking to hire an incompetent criminal defense attorney to remove the disbarment of Jim Hallett. On the advice of an unnamed MB School Board Member, we are in the process of locating his homeless attorney who is still registered to practice law to appeal Jim Hallett's FINA suspension.
We will keep you posted as to future developments. The real Jim Hallett is free to offer his own defense (undoubtely unsuccssful, as he probably won't get the papers in on time) since we plan on registering relays again for Sweden FINA 2010. We are hoping Jim registers with one of our competitors since they will undoubtedly will be disqualified. Jim you are in our prayers, which so far have been answered with your 10-day illness.
By the way, Frank Buckley pulled a Jim Hallett at the last minute too, copping the excuse that he wanted to actually catch his flight out of Perth, but he got a substitute who was undetected -- unlike the Jim Hallet wannabe who actually fessed up to his deception and thus got all of us in trouble. Frank's wanting to get out of town would carry more water with us if he had not stayed in the stands to watch the relay swim. Nuff said.
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My wife was so disappointed in my performance in Perth that she kicked me out of the house. So I drove to Chuck's house to live there for the month of May--only to find Bill Eisen already living there. He's using the address in order to stay on the School Board. When I last saw him, he was trying on Chuck's speedos, which my wife considered good cause to allow me to return home. She's never been to Sweden, by the way, so she wants to be our Team Mother.
Mary Ellen is now welcomed to be our team mother. Now we realize what she has to put up with....Chuck and Tom
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